Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Comparing Kids

            I’m sure we have all done this at least a few times, whether we want to admit it or not, but do you ever catch yourself comparing your kids to others more than you would like? Maybe it’s your nieces and nephews or your friend’s kids who are similar in age to yours. Regardless, and maybe this is just because I don’t have any experience with having older children, but it seems like it’s probably even worse when your children are younger, like Myka’s age.
            There is such an emphasis on reaching milestones, especially for children under 3, it seems. I understand the purpose they serve and why they’re important to keep track of…but they also kind of drive me insane.
            Ever since Myka’s 9 month check-up last month, the whole milestone thing has been really bothering me. I was less than pleased with what her doctor had to say, which I guess isn’t really her fault. I suppose she was just doing her job, but I still felt like Myka was being “judged” unfairly, which made me feel like I was being a bad parent somehow.
            Up until this last check-up, Myka has been “right on track” for the most part with her development and reaching these Godforsaken milestones. Last time, however, there were some “issues”, shall we say, with her weight and I was told she would probably start crawling and walking later than other kids because of it. Like I said, doctor was just “stating the facts” like she’s been taught, but I was still pissed upon leaving. Mostly because I was letting her make me feel like Myka’s weight issue was my fault, which is stupid on my part because we are far from over feeding her and don’t feed her crap. (Well, besides formula, but that’s a necessary evil.)
            I am still struggling to get over it because I know I am/was overreacting some…or a lot. I guess I just wish there were some sort of baby IQ test so I could at least prove how smart she is, even if she hasn’t been reaching certain physical milestones when she was “supposed to”. Lol I’m pretty sure Myka is on a mission to prove the doctor wrong, though. In the last month she has started clapping, raising her arms in the air for fun (you know, like “throw your hands in the air, like you just don’t care”), doing the army crawl all over the place, holding her own bottle (Ok. So I actually started making her do that like the day before her appointment. I knew she could, she just didn’t want to.), and going from lying down to sitting up on her own more regularly. (And by regularly I mean all the time now!) She is even trying to pull herself up, which is really exciting!
            So, I guess the moral of my rant/vent is I’m wondering if you catch yourself comparing your kids to others more than you would like to or mean to. It’s not really fair to ourselves or our kids, especially, but like I said, I think we all do it whether we mean to or not. Have you ever had less than thrilling check-ups with your kids? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!  


  1. Sometimes it is helpful to seek advice from other parents, but other times it just creates more stress. I am a member of an online mommy forum, but I only ever go on there if I REALLY need some advice, otherwise I would be picking apart every little way my daughter is not like other babies her age. But all babies are different.

  2. I sometimes compare my own children to each other, but not to other people's kids. I have a family member that does, and always tries to one up everything. I hate how she makes people feel, so I choose not to do it. I know each child is different, and will choose when they want to do something.