Wednesday, February 12, 2014
SAHMdom & Friends: Mutually Exclusive?
This is probably going to sound like a pity party, and perhaps it is a little bit. However, I know I'm not the only sahm out there who has trouble making friends. So buckle up for the ride and let's do some venting and brainstorming!
My husband and I are originally from Indiana, which I'm sure I've mentioned a million times. Long story short, we met at the factory we worked at together there, got laid off at the same time, were tired of Indiana in general, so we moved to Arkansas. Why Arkansas? Good question. The best answers I can give are 1) My brother and sister in-law live here, so we had someone to stay with while we found our own place and 2) It wasn't Indiana.
4 years later, several jobs, several moves, and a baby later, I still don't have anyone here that I actually do things with. I have a texting buddy that lives about 30 minutes away, but we've never gotten together to do anything. I had a friend from a previous job for awhile, but it kind of dawned on me one day that we don't really have a lot in common besides kids. Maybe I'm just too picky, but that's not a good enough reason to be friends with someone for me, not to mention I always swore up and down before I even had Myka that I wouldn't become friends with people just for the fact that they had kids too.
I did discover a playdate group for my town back in the summer. However, I've always been afraid that those women would be pretentious, snooty b**ches and my suspicions were somewhat confirmed when I happened to go to an event at the library that some of them went to for one of their meetups. Oh. Not to mention they have "annual dues". Sorry, but that seems silly to me and I decided not to "join their group" based on principle. Again, maybe I'm just too picky. But what's the point in being "friends" with someone if you don't/can't feel comfortable around them?
Honestly, I'm starting to think part of my problem is that I'm too picky. I also feel like Arkansas is a completely different world as far as the people go, which doesn't help. Plus, I've always been shy around new people and now that I'm home with Myka all the time I'm starting to feel a bit like a stray animal that hasn't been socialized when I go out in public. When I do happen to talk to other moms, my mind reels afterwards with all of the things I should have said or asked them.
So, what's a mom to do? Personally, I have been making a better effort to get out of the house more often. If not for my own sanity, for Myka's. She needs to be around other kids. She needs to socialize. (Plus I'm hoping she'll want to start walking if she sees other kids her age doing it. lol)
We did start going to the library on Wednesdays again for their Baby Steps program. It's great because it's for kids under 18 months and we sing songs, play with toys, and read a book. I did meet another mom there last week who has a daughter the same age as Myka. The bonus was that she didn't run away in horror when she saw we cloth diaper and I told her we make our own bath and body stuff like shampoo, body wash, etc. She was actually really intrigued and asked a lot of questions, so that was exciting!
Have you struggled with making or keeping friends since becoming a mom? Where do you like to go to meet other like-minded parents?
Posted by Mixed Bag Mama