Here's kind
of a funny little anecdote to explain a little about what brings the subject of
parenting books up:
Several
weeks ago, I posted something on my personal Facebook page about how I had the
whole baby thing figured out (even though I already knew what I was doing for
the most part) and that I was used to 3 year olds and up, but had no clue what
to do with a kid between the ages of 1 and 3. (Which, if you're new here, is
where my daughter happens to fall at the moment.) I also said something semi-jokingly
about how I wondered if there was a manual on that age out there somewhere.
My mom,
being the way she is, ordered What to
Expect the Second Year and had it sent to me. Clearly she knows me better
than I give her credit for most of the time. While I had mentioned wishing
there was a manual jokingly in my Facebook post, I wasn't completely kidding
and evidently she picked up on that. lol...That or she thinks I'm a terrible
parent and is trying to tell me something. ;)
Anyways,
I've been reading it some when I get that rare time to myself when the kiddies
decide to nap at the same time. I have to say, even though I'm not very far in
it, I'm torn as far as whether I like it or not. Some information I'm finding
valuable, but most of it seems a little...ridiculous or extreme...At least for
our lifestyle. I just feel like a lot of the advice, recommendations, or
whatever you want to call it is a bit "overprotective", for lack of a
better way to put it.
To be
honest, it's amazing that I'm even giving a "parenting book" a second
thought. I've always viewed them as superfluous and unnecessary. Just do what
comes naturally, right? (I need to start practicing what I preach. haha Just
kidding. I'm actually pretty good about that when it comes to parenting stuff.)
So yah, now
that I've actually had a taste of a parenting book, I still think they're kind
of silly, to be totally truthful. Everyone's different though, right? I can see
how they might be helpful to some people...And I will leave it at that. But I'm
not going to let some book be my "know all, be all" go-to when it
comes to raising my daughter. If something comes up that I utterly have no
ideas on how to deal with it, then I'll probably glance in my What to Expect the Second Year book, but
other than that I'll probably just use it every now and then to see what sort
of fun stuff she could/should be learning at that particular stage.
What about
you guys? I know some people swear by parenting books. Are you one of those or are
you a more "fly by the seat of your pants" parent like me?
Well, parenting books didn't prepare me for having three special needs kids - or for having unexpected situations that caused stress like my husband being away for boot camp when I had 4 month old and 2 year old and then when he was having his cancer treatment when our third child was around 4 months old and the older two were still under age 5. What it DID was tell me what "normal" kids should be doing - kids that don't have special needs or stressful life situations, and it made me feel like I was a horrible parent.
ReplyDeleteIf there is anything I have learned, it's that everybody is different - every parent and every child, and it's best to remember that and remember if something doesn't "fit" your family's situation, that's OK! We find our own way!
Well put, Emilee! I guess what gets me is that some people seem to put too much stock in what "experts" say and don't realize they can change things to suit their needs, if that makes any sense.
DeleteI will admit that I have a hard time not being judgmental of some people's parenting decisions sometimes if they are the exact opposite of what I do, so I have to remind myself to let it go because 1) It's not my kid and 2) Everyone has a different living/family situation!