Is Someone Missing?

            So...Funny things happen to your brain when you have kids. In fact, I'm pretty sure we're all clinically “unstable” at one point or another. Seriously. Whether you're having one of those days where you feel like hiding in a corner and rocking back and forth in the fetal position or going through the prolonged effects of “baby fever”, I think we can agree that we all have fleeting moments of psychosis as parents. My current mental imbalance as far as parenting goes? Wondering whether to go for baby #3 or not.

            I know, I know. If you've been around awhile, you might remember in my gender reveal post for Ripley that I said LOTS of things about being done with babies. And I meant them...Or at least I thought I did...Or I did at the time. Who knows. A lot of things happen in a year's time, though, and you sometimes come to a point where you really have to contemplate things and come to a solid conclusion. Hear me out...

            When Ripley was first born, we were both pretty adamantly against having any more kids, even though we had always talked about having 3. For us, the very real prospect of having THREE GIRLS is @#%$ing frightening! It's still scary as hell almost 10 months in with Ripley. I already shudder to even ponder the teenage years with TWO. Yet, we still decided to hold off on John having a vasectomy. It seemed a little too final, especially if we changed our minds down the road. (Ha. Funny in hindsight, right?)

             As Ripley has gotten older, though, she has turned out to be just as good of a baby as her older sister, amazingly...Which I believe tends to trick your brain into wanting more. Or at least that's part of the “problem”. “Well crap, if they're that easy, what's one more?!” you think. However...

             In hindsight, we wish we would have had our second sooner, just from the way Myka has acted with her little sister. Not that she's been terrible, but I feel like things would have been easier for her if she were younger when we had Ripley. But, like my husband keeps reminding me, it wasn't for lack of trying. ;)

             With that being said, I felt like I/we had to make a decision soon. If we have another one, I want them to be closer in age than Myka and Ripley are. As scary and unappealing as being pregnant again this soon sounds, Ripley is quickly approaching her first birthday. Babies take the better part of a year to cook. If we're going to do this thing, we need to do it, like, now. Scary.

             But, would having another one really be the end of the world? Short answer: Probably not. As much as I hate to admit it, yes, we'll probably have another girl...But we can always hold out hope we might get a boy this time, right?

             For now, we're taking the “we'll see what happens” approach, if you get my drift. The only really bad thing about having a third is the whole “where the hell are we going to put him/her?” situation. Our house only has two bedroom. Which is fine, because our bedroom is so big we could easily make it into to smaller rooms if we needed to. We would like to add on eventually anyways, but wondering where the heck we're going to get money to do so is a very real concern. It's the only thing that really worries me. Yes, even more than having three girls. ;)

             Other than that, though, I've been having more and more fleeting moments recently where I feel like someone is missing...Then I realize all four of us are accounted for and feel silly. See? There my brain and crazy hormones go again trying to trick me. ;)

             How did you know when you were done having kids?